2011-12-18T18:40:00.000-08:00

DAY ONE

It's been almost twenty fours since I had my last smoke and I remember itwell. I was in my car, listening to some tunes, and smoking a Captain BlackSweet. As far as last smokes go, I couldn't have asked for a better one.Sometimes, the draw is a little tight with Captain Blacks but this one wasperfect. I turned into my parking lot and saw my wife getting out of her car.She looked at me, "Where did you go?"

"I went out for a smoke," I answered.

She was disappointed and I don't blame her. But that was yesterday and nowwe're here. Day one is coming to a close and how am I feeling? Truthfully, notgood but I've been assured that it will pass and I've got people praying forme, encouraging me and that's all I need. Right now, I'm in the midst of bargainingwith myself. Those of you who have never had to give something up may not knowwhat I'm talking about so let me explain it.

When giving up something you're addicted to, you'll start bargaining withyourself. You'll tell yourself a number of things, a number of lies. The weirdthing is is that you are actually aware that they are lies when you're tellingyourself them but you continue telling yourself them anyway. My personalfavourite lie that I tell myself is that I'll quit tomorrow. I know that I reallyhave no intention of quitting tomorrow but I tell myself that anyway because itmakes me feel better.

So why am I blogging about this? Maybe to have a record of this process justin case I succeed but I think I just want to get it out, I guess. Writing aboutit helps the cravings pass. Sounds weird? I couldn't care less. See you tomorrow.

The Funny Side of Boredom